2015.02.26 | 新年習慣

[Volume 10 Issue 2, #1997]
Some of My CNY Traditions, or rather, Habits
嗯, 已經嚟到二月尾, 眼見自己個blog呢個月嘅layout咁新年feel, 我唔寫啲同新年有關嘅嘢, 又好似唔多係路噃.. 好啦, 二月份最後一篇貼文, 就寫下我嘅一啲新年習俗啦, 或者應該話係習慣比較貼切..
hmmm, it's end of February and looking at my blog layout being so CNY for this month, make no sense if i don't blog something about CNY huh?? okay, for the last post of the month, some of my CNY traditions, or rather, habits..

語言 Language : 中文    English
Steamboat for three meals for consecutive few days
自20幾年前開始, 我家每年除夕飯都離不開火鍋.. 相信大家都頗清楚中國人嘅傳統啦, 準備食物寧願有多餘都絕對不能唔夠嘛.. 之後數日, 每個午餐同晚餐都係火鍋, 直至食晒全部嘢為止.. 所以如果我話你知, 我一年就係喺新年期間食「嗰一次」火鍋, 你應該知點解啦, 哈哈哈!! :D
since the past 20-over years, steamboat has been serverd for our reunion dinner without fail.. and you know the Chinese tradition, food are always prepared in abundance, rather more to be leftover than not enough.. hence, every year in order to "clear stock", steamboat for lunch and dinner for the next couple of days!! and if i tell you that i will only have steamboat "once" during CNY throughout the year, you understand why.. muahaha!! :D
Lazing at home for the first two days of CNY
一年流流長, 我其實大部份時間都唔會選擇留喺屋企.. 唯獨係有兩日, 我會全天候hea喺屋企, 甚至係足不出戶.. 就係每年嘅大年初一同初二, 我會留喺屋企齋食/瞓/睇電視/上網, 好「勤奮」呀呵?? 好少可我會乜都唔做留喺屋企㗎, 不過乜都唔做, 其實係做緊件好開心嘅事嚟嘅, 同唔同意?? 嘻嘻嘻 :p
throughout the year, i spend most of the time not staying at home, but there are two days i will just laze at home and not going anywhere, not even step out of the house.. it's the 1st and 2nd day of CNY, i just eat and sleep and watch TV and surf internet, and that's how "productive" of me during these two days.. it's rare i stay at home doing nothing, but doing nothing can actually be considered as doing something enjoyable, do you agree?? hihihi :p
Keepin angpow given by parents for a year
係嘅, 本人尚係收利是一族, 而我通常都會將啲利是擺埋一邊, 直至十五之後先開封嘅.. 你諗下喇, 一疊咁一次過拎晒啲錢出嚟, 感覺係唔係良好啲?? 哈哈!! 至於父母所俾嘅利是, 我就會收佢一整年㗎, 即係話今年開舊年封利是, 而今年嘅就收起直到下一年.. 因為我相信咁樣做, 係可以為父母添福添壽, 雖然你可能覺得有點荒谬.. :)
alright, i am still receiving angpows and i will usually put them one side and not open them until after the 15th day of CNY.. it feels "richer" if i take out the money one shot in a stack, don't you agree?? haha!! and i will always keep the angpows given by my parents for another year, i.e. i only open the one from last year and the current one goes to a safe place for next year.. because i believe this would save them with more felicity and longetivity, though you may find this preposterous.. :)
** images above are taken from internet sources as a result of Google search

2015.02.24 | 短訊禮節

[Volume 10 Issue 2, #1996]
The Etiquettes of Social Messaging
The Etiquettes of Social Messaging/Chats
大家嘅新年假期過得開心嗎?? 梗係大事歡慶, 大事吃喝(加埋大事賭博), 同埋收到好多嘅祝賀短訊定喇.. 當然, 貫徹我一向(不太主流)嘅博客作風, 我唔會寫我新年點過囉.. 大家都係做同食埋咁上下嘅嘢, 你想知就去睇其他人嘅blog啦, 哈哈!! 今日我就想寫下關於我哋手機內, social chat apps所收到嘅短訊 - 發送短訊的禮節..

好簡單嘅一條問題: 你最唔鍾意邊啲發訊息嘅人??
鍾意將一條訊息分幾個嚟發嘅人, 更不能不提一連串惱人嘅鈴聲.. 舉個例: 「嗨!!」 > 「你好呀」 > 「好耐唔見」 > 「LOL」 > 「有冇約人?」 > 「出嚟見個面吖」 > 「飲杯嘢啦不如?」 > 「請回覆」.. 大可以short and sweet用一個短訊搞掂啦, 譬如話喂, 「出嚟飲杯嘢啦」.. 我想話呢, 除咗個send button之外, 其實係有個 return/enter key㗎囉~~
鍾意成日check住晒對方有冇睇短訊, 又expect對方要即刻回覆嘅人.. 其他人就或者可以, 不過我就唔係一日睇手機86400次嘅人(註:1日=86400秒), 更何況我係因為個案(A)而mute晒啲apps嘅.. 所以話, 如果你唔可以做到自己嘅要求, 就唔好要求別人可以做得到囉..
鍾意失驚無神發個「嗨!!」俾人之後又靜晒落嚟.. 係諗住我「嗨!!」返你咁簡單定諗住我會問你有咩事呀?? 如果有嘢就麻煩請講唔駛等人回應, 唔駛搞到個對話神神秘秘咁嘅.. 如果我心情靚, 問下有咩事, 唔該唔好就咁消失, 搞到個對話半天吊..
鍾意用全大楷字母打短訊嘅人, 仲要用一連串嘅感嘆號.. 或者你自己察覺唔到, 但係對方睇到你如比此一則短訊之後, 係會覺得你喺度鬧緊佢, 仲有你用咗幾個感嘆號就代表你有幾憤怒.. 唔該注意大楷字母有必要先用, 而另一方面, 其實用句號同逗號會比只係用感嘆號更能添加好感哦.. 下下要感嘆, 查實都好攰下化?? HAHAHAHA!!!
how was everyone's CNY holidays?? i bet you had lots of celebrations and feasting (and gambling), as well as receiving tons of messages on your phone huh?? of course with my (rather unorthodox) blogging style, i'm not going to write about how i spent my CNY.. everyone did and ate almost the same thing, if you want to know then please go read other blogs, haha!! today's post is rather inspired by the messages we received through chat apps - the etiquettes of social messaging..

simple question: what do you dislike most about people sending messages??
one who breaks a message into multiple short ones (not to mention the irritating series of notifications).. eg: Hi > How are you? > Long time no see > LOL > Going anywhere? > Wanna meet up later?? > Just for a drink > Please reply which can just be sent in a short and sweet message like "Hi there, wanna meet up for a drink?".. i just want to say, there is always an enter/return key instead of just the send button you can use..
one who keeps on checking if messages were read and expecting the other party to reply instantly.. okay, you may count on others, bt i don't look at my phone 86400 times a day (note: 1 day = 86400 seconds) and i mute my chat apps because of Case (A) above.. so, please, don't lay you expectations on others if you are not expecting yourself to do so either..
one who starts a conversation with a "Hi" and then gone silent.. are you expecting just a "Hi" back from me, or are you expecting me to ask if you have something to say?? if you have something to say, then please initiate that right away, there is no need to wait for a handshake, don't keep the conversation a mystery.. and if i give you a d*mn by asking what's up, then don't go missing and keep the conversation hanging..
one who uses all capital letters to type a message and what's more, with lots of exclamation marks.. you may not sense this, but this actually makes the recipients think you are scolding and the series of repeating exclamation marks links to the degree of anger in you.. learn to use uppercase sparingly unless you want to highlight something, and learn to appreciate the beauty of period or comma instead of only exclamation mark.. having to exclaim all the time, is, rather, quite exhausting huh?? HAHAHAHA!!!

2015.02.16 | 貫性問答

[Volume 10 Issue 2, #1995]
Frequently Asked Questions... And Answers!!!
Fequently Asked Questions And Answers
唔係, 今日唔係要寫關於我呢個blog嘅問答, 只不過見農曆新年就到, 講返同新年有關嘅嘢會合理啲啫.. 咁你又會好奇, 新年問答?? 咩嚟呀?? 唔係關於新年嘅由來同傳統, 而係好多人都會好討厭嘅--你啲親戚會問, 或者應該該一定會問, 唔問會唔安樂嘅一連串問題!!
當然, 問咩問題係視乎你屬於邊一個組別:-
  • 如果你尚在求學 - 「考試考到咩成績呀?? 班上排第幾名呀??」.. 好似佢哋會在乎咁..
  • 如果你已在職場打拼 - 「依家喺邊度做嘢呀?? 做緊咩呀?? 花紅出幾多呀??」.. 好似佢哋識得晒全部大大細細公司同行業咁..
  • 如果你尚係單身 - 「你個男朋友/女朋友呢?? 幾時要結婚擺酒請飲呀??」.. 好似佢會包大封啲紅包咁..
  • 如果你係新婚或婚後無子女 - 「幾時要生返個呀?? 做乜唔生多幾個呀??」.. 好似佢哋會幫手你養啲仔女咁..
  • 如果你已成家立室有兒有女 - 恭喜你, 佢哋唔有有嘢問你, 不過就會問你關於你每一個仔女以上每一條問題!! :D

真係阿彌陀佛.. 其實大家有冇覺得呢啲問題好煩?? 尤其係啲疏堂親戚, 你一年都只係新年見佢哋一次成廿分鐘咁耐?? 不過成個新年就要不斷重復答一樣嘅問題.. 所以有乜係應酬呢啲疏堂親戚最好嘅方法??
老實講, 相信好多人都會好想答一句「關你叉事咩??」.. 不過話晒新年流流又係一場親戚, 而且多數係長輩, 點都要俾下面嘅.. 不如就咁樣:-
  • 打開你部電腦, 開啟你個文書處理軟件
  • 將你可以諗得到嘅問題一一列出, 然後逐一回答, 將你嘅答案清楚打晒出嚟
  • 將份文件打印出嚟, 單頁一張紙最好, 收好作新年用
  • 新年時若有親戚想「訪問」你, 就順手俾佢一張, 叫佢自己慢慢睇
  • 搞掂!! 我包保你位親戚肯定即刻冇嘢再要問.. :D
nope, this is not FAQ about this blog but seeing the CNY is just around the corner, it makes more sense to talk about the CNY.. and you wonder what this is?? not about the history, culture etc but rather something many would hate - questions your relatives will, or shall i say "die die" MUST, ask.. if they don't ask, they cannot survive the day!!
of course the questions follows the category you come in:-
  • if you are studying - "how is your result?? what is your academic rank in class??".. as though they really care..
  • if you are working - "where are you working?? what are you currently doing?? how many months of bonus??".. as though they know all companies and industries..
  • if you are single - "where is your boyfriend/girlfriend?? when are you getting married??".. as though they are going to give you a bigger angpow..
  • if you are just married or married with no kids - "when are you going to have your baby?? why not have more children??".. as though they are going to help raise up your children..
  • if you are married with children - congratulations, you will not be asked any questions about yourselves, but each and every question above on each and every of your children!! :D

holy!! don't you find that irritating, especially in the case where those relatives are not close to you at all and you only see them for 20-minutes once a year during CNY, and you are repeating the same thing again and again?? so, what may be the best way to entertain this group of relatives??
okay, i know some of us may very much tempted to reply "none of your business" but it's CNY and they are afterall your relatives and probably seniors, not good to do so huh?? okay, just follow the steps below:-
  • turn on your PC or laptop etc, open up your word processing application
  • list down all the frequently asked questions you can think of and then type in your answers to each of them
  • print them out into single-page sheets and keep them aside for CNY
  • if any of your relatives is going to catch up with you, just politely hand them one and get them read that piece of paper
  • DONE!!! and i guarantee they are going to shut their mouth immediately.. :D

2015.02.12 | 近乎即時

[Volume 10 Issue 2, #1994]
"Almost" Real-time: You Asked For It!!
如果閣下有心再返去之前提過嘅留言榜專屬網頁睇下嘅話, 應該會察覺到該網頁有明顯嘅提升.. 係, 係你所要求嘅, 我聽到你嘅聲音!! 今日在此, 我很高興為大家宣佈, 呢個留言榜專屬網頁將會係「近乎」即時更新!! 不過你會問, 點解係「近乎」呢?? 係因為種種基於技術限制, 表現考量以及流量權衡, 本人充其量只能提供一個「近乎」即時更新嘅網頁, 不過肯定足夠今大家好似睇股票一般心跳加速, 哇哈哈哈!! 且慢慢流瀏下面嘅圖像, 睇下該網頁嘅功能精華啦.. :)
if you ever bother to take a look at the comments chart webpage mentionded earlier again, you will notice some significant changes and updates to the webpage.. yes, you asked for it and your voices are heard!! i am happy to announce here that, the comments chart webpage is now updated "almost" real time with the latest statistics!! but why "almost" you may ask?? largely due to technical limitations, performance considerations and load justifications, i can only provide you an "almost" state but i am sure this is good enough to get your heart pounding like watching the stock market, muahahaha!! browse photos below to see the feature highlights of the webpage.. enjoy!!! :)
[SK/0617] Comments Chart Webpage[SK/0617] Comments Chart Webpage[SK/0617] Comments Chart Webpage[SK/0617] Comments Chart Webpage[SK/0617] Comments Chart Webpage[SK/0617] Comments Chart Webpage[SK/0617] Comments Chart Webpage[SK/0617] Comments Chart Webpage

2015.02.10 | 廁紙一談

[Volume 10 Issue 2, #1993]
A Little Talk on Toilet Roll
話我姿整又好, 話我有潔癖又好.. 不過我真係好嬲喺廁所入面見到咁嘅情況.. 難道將廁紙個空芯拎走, 再放返卷新廁紙上個架度, 有咁難咁消耗精力咩?? 索性拆走個架, 然後放廿卷廁紙喺個水箱上面啦, 橫掂都覺咁樣好有型嘛.. @.@"
say I am demanding or have OCD or whatever, but I really hate seeing this in the toilet.. is it so tough and take one so much effort to remove the empty core from the holder and then replace it with a fresh roll of paper?? might as well remove the holder and bring in 20 rolls of papers, since it seems so cool placing them on the tank.. @.@"
Would You Place The Toilet Roll Nicely
好嘅, 可能有人會覺得唔將廁紙放喺個架度會方便啲.. 不過呢個確實係更令人討厭囉, 換咗卷新廁紙, 嚟手就將個空芯掟喺個水箱上面(累積).. 係想要收集定收埋做嫁妝先?? 頂!! @.@"
okay, probably one finds it easier and more convenient to have the roll of paper out of its holder.. but this is even more agitating, fill the holder with a fresh roll and then just leave the empty core (accumulating) on the tank.. want to keep them all like SK keeps his schooldays papers ke?? duh!! @.@"
Would You Throw The Toilet Roll Core Away

2015.02.06 | 餐蛋漢堡

[Volume 10 Issue 2, #1992]
"Messy" Burger : Don't You Agree They Are The Best??
Messy but Delicious Luncheon Meat and Egg Burger
首先, 請充許我基於上面張有啲核突兼「在美食博客標準下可得零分」嘅相說聲抱歉.. 我其實坐係電腦前食緊呢個餐蛋漢堡包嘅, 咁啱又唔知今日要寫啲乜, 咁啱又食緊個包, 咁啱手上又拎住部電話, 我咪順便影咗呢張「一pat嘢」相囉.. 於是將計就計, 即興啲, 今日嚟個快餐店漢堡包大戰街邊小攤漢堡包啦!!

其實大家可以跳過上面一段, 下一句開始讀起, 哇哈哈哈!! 好喇, 話我知, 如果你係個有食快餐甚至唔嫌棄街邊嘢嘅人, 你會選擇邊一種漢堡包??
  • 由受過專業特訓, 如機械人般工作嘅廚房員工所整, 依據公司設下嘅工作流程標準, 有指定(可數性)材料, 有規定份量(但不超過兩種)醬汁, 於大量生產環境之下, 另外計埋冷氣同連鎖版權費(及極難上到網嘅免費無線網絡)於價錢內, 越來越變得明顯細個嘅快餐店漢堡包..
  • 由街邊某某甲乙丙, 夢想成為一代米芝連星級大廚所整, 隨心所欲, 有隨意數量(不可數性)材料, 有隨性份量(往往超過三種而且一定係喞晒出嚟嘅)醬汁, 於即叫即做環境之下, 按照個別柯打收費(而且全包個人特別要求), 越來越變得有啲細個嘅街邊小攤漢堡包..
first of all, let me apologize for this somehow unsighty and surely-failed-under-the-foodie-blogger-standard photo above.. i was actually sitting in front of my laptop gulping this luncheon meat with egg burger, and since i do not have anything in mind to blog for today, and since this burger comes in handy, and since i was holding my phone, i snapped a photo of this "messy" burger.. be instant and be impromptu, we have today roadside burgers versus fast food burgers!!

okay you can actually skip the previous paragraph and start reading from the next sentence, muahahaha!! so, tell me.. if you are one who actually eat fast food or even down-to-earth roadside food, which one do you actually prefer??
  • fast food chain burgers prepared by "trained" kitchen crew who work like robots, packed with corporate standard numbers of (and countable) toppings, fixed amount of dressing (but not more than two types), in a mass production environment, charged additionally for air-cond and franchise royalty (and not-working-free-wifi) and size getting significantly smaller..
  • roadside stall burgers prepared by an anonymous who works like a michelin-star-chef-wannabe, stacked with random numbers of (and uncountable) toppings, arbitrary amount of dressing (always more than three and all the time oozing out), in a made-to-order environment, charged accordingly by your order (but not on additional requests) and size getting fairly smaller..